Lovin' my stuff [long, ranty, probably contains Bad Words]

[inulro]

Surprisingly few Bad Words, actually. There were lots more in my head.

As started in a comment on sushidog's journal:

This did the rounds a few months ago and made me angry at the time but I didn't have the space to address is. You lucky people, I'm Lady of Flu (regular, not swine) today and I have nothing better than explain why I think the article entitled The 10 Unexpected Costs of Owning Things is a big condescending pile o' crap:

Parts of it may be factually correct, but are presented in a moralizing context I find alien and offensive. F'rinstance,

No. 1 Things you own have a cost of ownership Duh! No kidding our 3 bedroom house costs more to live in than one room. But that's a choice my partner & I made. I spent a few years living hand-to-mouth in one room. I'm not knocking that, I had some of the best years of my life, lots of fun and great friends. Now, however, I feel safe, secure and proud that I have been able to provide myself with more space. Yes, I do have to spend a certain amount of time dusting and otherwise keeping my stuff clean and safe. I do believe I'm a grown-up and it's a free country.

Sure, my last post was about trying to figure out how to get the same amount of Stuff (TM) into one less room while I redecorate. I do realise exactly how ridiculously privileged I am to be able to even have that kind of dilemma.

2. You are carrying around the emotional weight of things you don't use. Speak for yourself. Can't say that I feel bad about the stuff I don't use. If I feel really sure I'm never going to use something again, I do find a new home for it. But I refuse to feel guilty, or whatever this dork is trying to make me feel, for keeping my classical guitar a) in the vague hope that I might be well enough to play again one day; and b) it was a really, really important part of my life during some critical years.

3. You don't learn your lessons on overspending because you never face reality. The assumption that because I have lots of stuff I lack in superior budgeting skills is offensive.

4. You let yourself buy status symbols - read it, it's not quite exactly what you might think he means, but I still think it's a)not necessarily true (most people never see my house, so how do they know that I display my love of reading & music all over the place) and b)my choice if I do.

I've worked out what pisses me off about the whole article - it's like item no. 1 - the assumption that the reader is so stupid they've never considered any of this and just blindly consume.

5. You use objects as comfort You know what? I might. I probably do. Again, something I realise and it's MY CHOICE and doesn't make me a bad person.

6. You are weighed down This is the one where I have to concede a point, but for 99% of us, 99% of the time, it's irrelevant. When the time comes to move to another country or chuck everything to go backpacking round the world for a year (shut up at the back, I am not too old!), I will be faced with the rehome/store/ship dilemma, and as with point no. 1, it's a situation I will only be faced with because I'm a truly fortunate person. Again, it will be my decision.

7. The more stuff you have the more blind you become to it. That's another speak for yourself job. And for those who it may be true, that's your own business and none of mine or anyone else's.

Another general point - and this has less to do with the article itself than the way it was circulated as Words of Wisdom "oh, you must get rid of your stuff". Suddenly (or not so suddenly, I blame it on the rise of home improvement shows), things that are a personal choice are made into Everybody Else's Business.

8. If you are overspending, you will never see that money again.
See my reply to no. 2, but add more curse words. Plus, there's always Ebay so you may well be able to get some back.

9.Each object has a path before you bought it
Bother. He's got me here.
This is true, and something I do consider. I try to buy ethical and sustainable where possible, and even in these days of having an income, an awful lot of what comes into this house is second hand. When I do get rid of things, I do my best to ensure they go to another home rather than join recycling or landfill.

10.You like the idea of owning something more than the reality
Another "speak for yourself" + "so what?"

More edits as and when I think of them.

Comments

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

I am SO with you on this.

1) I like the idea of having a bigger house because I like to have enough space to move around in. I grew up in a big house, and my current one is the smallest I could cope with.

2) No, I merely have stuff I don't use. It's not an emotional weight, merely a pile of stuff. SOmetimes a cigar is just a cigar.

3) I have faced reality - I choose to spend my money in different ways than other people, because it's my money and my choice. Some people like to redecorate every two years, I like fizz. Some people go on holiday twice a year, I spend a lot on takeaway coffee and cigarettes.

4) They can fuck right off on the status symbols. I have a big TV because I watch a lot of TV and wanted a big one. I couldn't give a stuff what anyone else thinks. Same with my car, my iPod, my dualit toaster and mixer, my gaggia, and indeed my house itself - they are things that are right for me.

5) Indeed, so what. Life's too short and full of ghastliness to jettison comfort purely becasue you feel you ought to live up to other people's ideals and be a self-actualising whatever. I like being in my cocoon of stuff, I grew up like that, I live like that, and I intend to die like that.

6) I'm only "weighed down" if I ever intended to move. WhHich I don't, and even if I did it wouldn't be to anywhere smaller. And even if I did, then I would edit my possessions accordingly. So what's the big deal?

7) In some cases that's true - but then why's that a problem? Just because you don't notice it every time you see it doesn't mean that it's something you don't want/need. Occasionally I'll think "Gaaah, too many candle holders" or something and do something about it, but it's not an emotional thing.

8) Goodness me, I never realised that if I spent money then I wouldn't have that money any more. How radical!

9) Indeed. Hence why I keep furniture and appliances until they die a natural death (apart from the TV), recycle wherever possible and don't buy cheap crappy clothes that only get worn once or twice.

10) Sometimes I want something and when I get it realise that I didn't really need it that much, or that it's not as useful as I thought. But that's called life. I definitely don't sit there and think "Hurrah, I have a Dualit toaster and a Gaggia", or think "my life would be complete if only I had a Kitchenaid blender".

[lil-m-moses.livejournal.com]

Consider that you are probably not the target audience of this piece. The target audience is a lot of the other people I share suburbia with who have to have giant pickup trucks for commuting to an office job and giant SUVs to haul two kids; who put out two big bags of garbage twice a week and just throw out the old items instead of giving them a new home; and who find themselves stretched to the limit on their budget because they had to get the big house, the big cars, the big TVs, the remodeled kitchen, and more, and they did it all on credit.

[mimmimmim.livejournal.com]

I like my stuff. I once read - in a piece of Harry Potter fanfic, no less - 'When you move around a lot, home isn't a place, it's things.' Very wise. I'm pretty sure that's one reason why I don't mind where I live, as long as my stuff is there! We moved around a lot when I was a child.

Don't think I'll bother with this article; it sounds rubbish.

[inulro.livejournal.com]

Apparently it's a Psychological Tendency that people who didn't have very stable childhoods are more grounded in their stuff than others. This sort of explains me - we didn't move when I was a kid, but my mother didn't let us keep things - as soon as she decided we were too old, or the things were, they got taken away.

Control issue? Hell yeah.

[inulro.livejournal.com]

You are probably right, but those sort of people are so far from my experience that they might as well be from outer space.

[inulro.livejournal.com]

I thought you might like!

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

Oh hell yeah. M got moved around all over the place when he was a kid because his mother kept picking fights with the landlords. He's got a very strong attachment to our home and his possessions.

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

By the sounds of it, reading that article would raise my blood pressure. If you (generic you) want to lead a stripped-down lifestyle with few possessions, go right ahead. Just don't start telling me that I have to do the same. There is nothing inherently bad about owning things.

[girfan.livejournal.com]

1. Things you own have a cost of ownership
I'll second your Duh! I think the main problem we have is lack of proper storage. Whenever it's been solved, it works well. Like the new bathroom-I got rid of a bunch of stuff but kept the majority thanks to finally having decent storage space in that room.

2. You are carrying around the emotional weight of things you don't use. I've "recycled" lots of items over the years (sold on Ebay, to charity shops, friends) but some items I'll always have since it means something (like the wood items my father made for me) even if it's not used.

3. You don't learn your lessons on overspending because you never face reality. My main lesson on overspending was being unemployed a few times in my lifetime. I still think hard before buying something and rarely get things I don't need. I know people who buy loads of expensive stuff just to fill some empty part of their life, but I'm not one of them.

4. You let yourself buy status symbols I don't buy designer stuff unless it's proven to be of the best quality and the best value for money. I'd rather buy one item that lasts than 20 that fall apart. I would never buy anything to "keep up with the Jonses" but, I'm not a suburbanite housewife!

5. You use objects as comfort What is bad about that? I like having reminders of my father's handcraft, my fave books in hardcover and a nice home to live in.

6. You are weighed down I have made a major move that most people will never do in their lifetime: I moved myself and my stuff over an ocean. I got rid of loads of stuff, sold about 1/2 of what I owned, and still came to the UK with what was important to me. And I still have 90% of the items, which helped me and J furnish a home. There are storage options if you want to go around the world and still have something when you settle down again!

7. The more stuff you have the more blind you become to it. That's another speak for yourself job. And for those who it may be true, that's your own business and none of mine or anyone else's. Agreed 100X!

8. If you are overspending, you will never see that money again.
I agree with regards to Ebay and other selling options. I don't think I've overspent on stuff, even if visitors might assume so.

9.Each object has a path before you bought it
I have a lot of homemade things and love antiques so don't mind "used" items. I don't shop in Primart or Argos or anywhere else horribly cheap (and sometimes of ethical questionability).

10.You like the idea of owning something more than the reality
I'd rather have nice things around me than nothing at all-so what?

[girfan.livejournal.com]

We didn't move much either, and my mother used to get rid of my old stuff without asking. Hmmmmmmmmm