Misery, complaint, self-pity, injustice
Aug. 28th, 2003 09:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
inulroYesterday I felt like shit. Really, really bad, but I dragged myself to work because of how much trouble I'd be in with the new staff sickness policy if I didn't (I obsess about these things more when my brain is all fuzzy). I dragged myself home again about 3:00 pm.
One of the interesting by-products of ME-related insomnia is lack of serotonin in the brain and therefore feeling all weepy and depressed. It's a weird feeling, because I know perfectly well it's a chemical inbalance and not *me*, but I try to stay away from people anyway in case I say something stupid.
I woke up again about 8:00 and checked my email, to discover that Projekt are selling the first two Faith & the Muse CDs (which I only have on tape) for $9.98 US each. So I ordered those, the new F&TM album, as well as the second and third Unto Ashes albums. Whoops. But I feel better now! I felt vaguely guilty about this excess spending till I read yet more articles in the Guardian about how people are irresponsibly taking on debt they can't afford. Heh. My idea of something I can't really afford means that not as much is going into savings this month as I'd like.
Today I felt remarkably human and even came home and cooked a proper meal from a recipe and everything. (OK, I did all the preparation but Jason had to do the actual cooking as my back had given out).
My cooking music was Soft Cell's Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret. That is just such an excellent album. I know most of the tracks on it are desperately over-played, but there's a reason for that. There's not a weak song on it. It manages to be supremely superficial yet serious at the same time. The songs where Marc takes on the persona of a middle-aged closeted repressed guy are interesting considering how very very young he was when this album came out. (Incidentally I used to live a few minutes away from where they lived when "Bedsitter" was written. It's grim). Somehow I think he avoided the fate of his characters : ) And incidentally I like to think I have too.
The CD has lots of bonus tracks, all of which are also fab, but I'm confused about one thing. I can't work out how and where I first heard "What?" (the one with the lyric "what can I say when I still love you..."). It's one of those songs that feels like I've known it forever but when I try to work out the logistics of hearing it, I go completely blank. My mind has placed it solidly in my memory next to situations where the lyrics very much applied to me, but logically I'm pretty sure that's impossible.
Today somebody at Jason's work thrust the Interpol album into his hands. He's playing it now. For the nth time. I've been meaning to check them out for ages but was too lazy. My loss - I'm completely blown away!
I'd just like to apologise for the lack of coherence. I keep having ideas but the neurons that would let me express them clearly do not work. I've decided to try to start writing anyway and hope maybe it makes them start working again.
One of the interesting by-products of ME-related insomnia is lack of serotonin in the brain and therefore feeling all weepy and depressed. It's a weird feeling, because I know perfectly well it's a chemical inbalance and not *me*, but I try to stay away from people anyway in case I say something stupid.
I woke up again about 8:00 and checked my email, to discover that Projekt are selling the first two Faith & the Muse CDs (which I only have on tape) for $9.98 US each. So I ordered those, the new F&TM album, as well as the second and third Unto Ashes albums. Whoops. But I feel better now! I felt vaguely guilty about this excess spending till I read yet more articles in the Guardian about how people are irresponsibly taking on debt they can't afford. Heh. My idea of something I can't really afford means that not as much is going into savings this month as I'd like.
Today I felt remarkably human and even came home and cooked a proper meal from a recipe and everything. (OK, I did all the preparation but Jason had to do the actual cooking as my back had given out).
My cooking music was Soft Cell's Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret. That is just such an excellent album. I know most of the tracks on it are desperately over-played, but there's a reason for that. There's not a weak song on it. It manages to be supremely superficial yet serious at the same time. The songs where Marc takes on the persona of a middle-aged closeted repressed guy are interesting considering how very very young he was when this album came out. (Incidentally I used to live a few minutes away from where they lived when "Bedsitter" was written. It's grim). Somehow I think he avoided the fate of his characters : ) And incidentally I like to think I have too.
The CD has lots of bonus tracks, all of which are also fab, but I'm confused about one thing. I can't work out how and where I first heard "What?" (the one with the lyric "what can I say when I still love you..."). It's one of those songs that feels like I've known it forever but when I try to work out the logistics of hearing it, I go completely blank. My mind has placed it solidly in my memory next to situations where the lyrics very much applied to me, but logically I'm pretty sure that's impossible.
Today somebody at Jason's work thrust the Interpol album into his hands. He's playing it now. For the nth time. I've been meaning to check them out for ages but was too lazy. My loss - I'm completely blown away!
I'd just like to apologise for the lack of coherence. I keep having ideas but the neurons that would let me express them clearly do not work. I've decided to try to start writing anyway and hope maybe it makes them start working again.
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no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 01:14 pm (UTC)Today somebody at Jason's work thrust the Interpol album into his hands. He's playing it now. For the nth time. I've been meaning to check them out for ages but was too lazy. My loss - I'm completely blown away!
Interesting. My boss lent to me and I was utterly underwhelmed by it. It's ok I guess, but I just found it a tad derivative and dull. Think I'm getting fussy in my old age :/
no subject
Date: 2003-08-29 12:33 am (UTC)I rather like Interpol, which is saying something considering that I'm much more likely to be listening to something from Shiva Space Technology these days. Guitars! Novel! It's all a bit samey, but Stella stands out.
no subject
Date: 2003-08-29 06:49 am (UTC)If in doubt, check the website - I always put the date on there since we stopped running regularly.
------
Dave
DJing at:
Tenebrae, last Fri each month, next 29 August
Exile, Bath, next 6 September
no subject
Date: 2003-08-29 01:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-29 09:58 am (UTC)Absolutely!
Think I'm getting fussy in my old age :/
It's not exactly a secret that I'm getting less fussy in my old age.